Adult

What changes you? What make you feel that you are in the next stage of life? Who determine that you are a child or an adult? Or rather it should be what determine that you are a child or adult. Is it by number or you term is as age or by your status like married, or single, ms mrs madam. All sort of terms that justified you as a child or an adult. I don’t really get it when ppl say that you are of such such age so you should be more…adult like or whatever kind of adult mannerism you should have.

No one asked if you are ready to be an adult. They will just term you by your status or age and as such you should behave according to the number of years you have been alive. Behaving like an adult is for the society’s wellbeing, it’s for the comfort for those around you, it’s for surviving in a working environment. It is not about you. That is why no one asked if one is ready to be an adult. That is why you change. That is why you move to the next stage.

It’s for others and not you.

Please Continue Next Page

Ah, it has been a long time since I last pour myself into this part of me in cyberspace.
Somehow, this closet does not seem to belong to me anymore.

Maybe it’s because I have moved on to another stage of my life that seem really estrange with all this things I have written. Biker’s clothes into pink closet with daisies prints? But I’m no biker or a pink closet person. Haha

But I suppose I will need a closure to this chapter of my life and begin the new chapter in another blog.

Well, I guess its time flip to the next chapter.……..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The End ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Track or trail

Here I am doing some serious brooding in the wee hours of the night. As I can’t get it out from my head to let my body rest, I decided to use the modern technology in the form of PC to type my thoughts out. It’s not uncommon for me to do such thing. I’m known to be quite an eccentric individual.

Something has been bothering me. I can’t exactly put my finger on it but I suspect I have fallen into the same routine over some serious brooding phase I experienced nearly every half yearly.

My way of describing it will be this. A track running race, I start off fast and furious and fully confident of crossing the line. But after the awesome beginning, I feel the pull of all my internal organs, probably just lungs but you never know. I saw the end line was far off my mark. While struggling to along the way, I try hard to remember what the prize at the end of the race is.

I realize I don’t know what the prize is anyway so I slowed down considerably. Then I look around for my competitors, I realize there is none on the track except yours truly. Oh right, there is still the audience cheering you on. But damn it there is no one on the stands either. So I stop and ask myself why I am in this race for

? Why am I not running on a nice trail with tress to look at, flower to smell at, tree roots to trip from, slopes to navigate? A stadium track with only me, with a flat field in the centre, what is there to keep you running?

So I stop and ponder or rather, brood about it. But when I stop, I see people crossing the line and kept running on the same track back. They sure look like they know what the prize is. But I believe I don’t. I wanted to get out of the race but I know that is not possible. Only way is to keep on running.

Some will say I am lost, some will say I have no will power, some will say I should not run long distance if I have no stamina or simply I’m weird. But me when I re-read what I have type out from the top of my head, is that I am tired and I run out of motivation. And I do like to inject millions of doubts into my mind, because I have a brain that spawns questions and a heart that hates disappointment.

This may be the reason why I’m doing some insane amount of reading for the past few months. Perhaps just to peek into another world with a different view and feel detached from my own.

I wish after typing what I felt, I may get an insight. But truly there is none. At least I can’t when I’m about to doze off. Well , let’s hope for tomorrow then.

Oh boy. This is how u discover your age. U unwittingly browse through your photo albums and in it you saw your recent year photos are mainly from some else's wedding.

And you happen to see your friends' friendster or blog and discover they went to many weddings too.

Its like age-defining trend.

Human are truly complicated

Its ironic. When I have nothing much interesting going on, I pened down many entries in my blog. But when things starts to get interesting, I found it hard to settle down and arrange my thoughts into words. There is so many " I must blog it down" instances. But never the actual action. Next came the build-up, then now yours truly don feel the rush to blog down those moments anymore. Humans, ARE truly complicated...

So naturally today is quite an uneventful day, oh with the exception that my family sweet heart has learn to clap his tiny very chew-worthy looking hands, hence the blogging mood returns. Haha

What caught me today was I remembered that I m growing old..er . There I was staring at my reflection in the mirror when this question pops up, how do i look old. I m horrified by the imagined old me. Quite a curse to have vivid imagination in instances as such. So nest i have this conversation in my head.

Me:Oh God, what if no one wants me when i look like this
background~ old and lonely...old and lonely

Me: its ok I still have my personality

Me: ya right

Me ya I m very cute what

Me: haha ya I m cute what. wahahahaha

....ya

Bangkok 2006 12-16 Oct

Yeah finally got my bangkok pictures up. I decided to make it a highlight of some sort. Maybe will do same for my 2006 highlight blog entry hehe. Went to a lot more places in 2006 so wanted to use the pciture to tell the thousand words.

Bangkok is truly unique. A place where the past and the future lump in together. I read in a book somewhere, Bangkok is not planned, its a place that just happens by itself. I couldn't agree more.Its long narrow street is filled with shops selling everything from odd amulets to fashion items.They have shopping malls, Paragon, WTC that are much more sophiticated than in Singapore but also very old streets with very ancient looking shops.

But smtimes the old streets are filled with new surprises. Like patpong night market is on a old street and sandwiched between many many pubs, strip clubs and "other"joints. If you look inside, you will catch glimpse of beautiful women dressed in skimpy whites, pole dancing in luminous lights in them.Their sales ppl will stand at the side of the crowded market trying to pull you in if you happen to glance in their direction. They are very sensitive to where your eyes land. haha

The 4 of us yaya, xing, Dennis and me all feel that the trip is fabulous. We shop till we drop with scary prices like 89 baht for a skirt (abt 4 dollars sgd), we ate from posh restaurants to road side stalls ( Ooh that sakuyaki), we took taxi and tuk tuk and went almost everywhere on our 4 days. Finally relaxing ourselves at Wat po's massage school. Tt is one of the most scary, painful plus shiok massage I ever had. Truly traditional massgae experienced!

Now me and yaya always feel a wrench buying clothes in SG and pine for that sukuyaki. Well till next time Bangkok! We will definately visit it again. Hopefully in 07!

It is with my deepest regrets.......

The past will always be the present and the future. It will forever be in ur memories, ur sub concious and reactions. People who avoided it are trying in vain and people who avoid it are oni trying not being reminded of regrets.

So maybe, a life without regrets is without life itself.